Synopsis:

A heartbreaking and hilarious memoir by iCarly and Sam & Cat star Jennette McCurdy about her struggles as a former child actor—including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother—and how she retook control of her life.

Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction,” eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income.

In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail—just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly, she is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi (“Hi Gale!”), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spinoff Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants.

Told with refreshing candor and dark humor, I’m Glad My Mom Died is an inspiring story of resilience, independence, and the joy of shampooing your own hair.

Review:
“My life purpose has always been to make Mom happy, to be who she wants me to be. So without Mom, who am I supposed to be now?” (Page 2)

“I’m allowed to hate someone else’s dream, even if it’s my reality.” (Page 207)

I wanted and needed something different after my last fantasy read and this had been in the forever growing TBR (and literal kindle unlimited cache) since May. I wish I had read this sooner. If all autobiographies were written like this, I may come to like nonfiction as much as I do fantasy. While there is serious trauma worked through and mentioned, the autobiography is written as if the reader is along for the ride as McCurdy starts acting and ages up.

There are so many ways in which McCurdy struggled as a youth and young adult, and while many may think it crass that she not only would say that she is glad her mother died, but would write a book about it, if one were to read said book they may find some understanding in her sentiment. From a young age she was treated as expendable, a life size doll, someone meant only to emotionally and mentally support her mother while merely going along a path set for her. McCurdy suffered many things from her mother: emotional and psychological abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse and in the end she still chose to share her past, the tribulations, embarrassments, and heartbreak with others. This book hits hard, perhaps because of her fame; if someone who was that much in the public eye was going through so much behind closed doors it’s possible that anyone could be facing a world of horrors that could never be imagined.

I thought this book was thought provoking, sad, but hilarious at times and overall I am very glad I read it. I cannot say who I think would benefit from reading this book, but if you do, you’ll go along on quite the journey.

Star rating: ✯✯✯✯✯

*Read in February, though reviewed now.

***This is the first autobiography I have reviewed!